only if we run a train.
done.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
