**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
