just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
This toilet bowl is my home.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
