my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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