Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Dignity is for republicans.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
