I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I want to fling myself into the sun
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
