Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
