Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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