There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
