Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I need a burrito and a hug.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
