i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize