Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
