Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
