Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
This house was built for laser tag.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize