don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
