5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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