i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
