would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
