The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
