I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
