Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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