Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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