I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
