mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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