wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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