the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
