Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize