So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
