those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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