Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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