I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
