all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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