so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
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