so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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