why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
