then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
