I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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