those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
