somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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