I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
