He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
