the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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