That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
