umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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