Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
