I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
