dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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