do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
