This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
