I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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