Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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