Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
