how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
