He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
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no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
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do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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